How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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