Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize