What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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