I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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