My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
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Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
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Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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