i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize