Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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