it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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