Moan for me like Helen Keller
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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