Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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