I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize