I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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