I want to make a zoo with you.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize