I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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