I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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