just come out here and I will go home with you...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
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Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
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I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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