I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
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YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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