I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ketchup is God's man juice
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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