Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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