You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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