she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize