Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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