Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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