oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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