K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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