We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize