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  • 217 63
    Submitted by said8ED on Jan 18, 11 at 4:44pm
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    But, you'll blow him? Makes no sense

    • 55 68
      Submitted by MrsHamburglar on Jan 19, 11 at 4:35am
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      I had that same exact thought. I mean, hell, there's almost a 0% chance of it being on a plate. If she's any kind of polite, there's a 100% chance of it going down her throat.

      • 36 63
        Submitted by xandrasm on Jan 23, 11 at 3:56am
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        my thoughts exactly.

  • 200 82
    Submitted by dadx2 on Jan 18, 11 at 5:13pm
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    There was this one time I was stuck in a traffic jam with a raging hard on. Traffic wasn't moving, so I whipped it out and started working it. It didn't take long to finish, and I had a few napkins to clean up. My mom got real quiet for the rest of the trip, though.

    • 63 51
      Submitted by yfz501 on Jan 18, 11 at 6:21pm
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      @dadx2 good thing you aren't allergic to bullshit like me or you would have had to use the napkins to wipe your nose

    • 44 65
      Submitted by rds2709 on Jan 20, 11 at 11:01am
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      Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. who cares if its fake? its funny as hell!!!

  • 134 52
    Submitted by Figuratively on Jan 18, 11 at 6:38pm
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    When having phone sex, NEVER ask where he came. Then you can't imagine it was in/on you. Way to ruin it for yourself.

  • 132 66
    Submitted by rick_scott on Jan 18, 11 at 4:14pm
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    What's that in the gravy boat?

    • 68 68
      Submitted by joe_jr_shabadoo on Jan 18, 11 at 8:27pm
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      Gravy. Best not ask what's in the semen boat, though.

  • 90 40
    Submitted by xandrasm on Jan 19, 11 at 3:40am
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    someone obviously doesn't swallow...

  • 82 57
    Submitted by ardvarkofdoom on Jan 18, 11 at 4:49pm
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    Who needs scrubbing bubbles when you have semen?

    • 7 8
      Submitted by DerKarismatisch on Aug 28, 12 at 1:23pm
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      Sperm -- They work hard, so you don't have to!

  • 84 64
    Submitted by 1goodboyjames on Jan 19, 11 at 12:35am
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    The secret is in the frosting but I'll never tell.

  • 75 57
    Submitted by 1goodboyjames on Jan 19, 11 at 12:35am
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    The secret is in the frosting but I'll never tell.

  • 75 58
    Submitted by AliasWasTaken on Jan 18, 11 at 5:11pm
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    said8ED has a good point. There isn't a difference between those two

  • 67 63
    Submitted by Michguy on Jan 19, 11 at 7:44am
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    Why is this any different than you giving him head? Fail.

  • 64 59
    Submitted by iowawashington on Jan 19, 11 at 9:23am
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    I suppose he shouldn't tell her about the time he puked in the sink then.

  • 58 58
    Submitted by I_d_10_tee_error on Jan 19, 11 at 9:22am
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    The only time to ask "where did you cum" is when you're trying NOT to get pregnant.

  • 61 65
    Submitted by wheredidgrungego on Jan 18, 11 at 7:31pm
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    Don't knock phone sex folks! It can be amazing if ur both into it.

  • 57 68
    Submitted by helloitsjen2000 on Jan 19, 11 at 2:01pm
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    I would

  • 45 93
    Submitted by BitchSlapper on Jan 18, 11 at 6:52pm
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    Hahahaha

  • 64 143
    Submitted by stevebauer on Jan 18, 11 at 4:25pm
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    The kitchen sink? He was having phone sex in his kitchen? How did his mom not hear him?

    • 80 65
      Submitted by ChiefSlutGuts on Jan 18, 11 at 6:12pm
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      Not everyone still lives in mommy's house.