so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
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