i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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