I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize