when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
420 ftw
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize