I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
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And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
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I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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