So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
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I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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