i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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