i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize