:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize