I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
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I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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