Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize