I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just had sex on a roof
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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