I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize