TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize