You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize