Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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