Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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