I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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