So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize