I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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