so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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