Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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