I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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