so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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