Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize